i woke up this morning to a slap on the ass and jake saying "you should let me put it in your ass now" i need out of this relationship.
for sure. did you let him do it?
thats not the point.
i only shaved half my leg
on purpose
how many days can you live off of Vicodin and frosty?? im going on 4 days......
do to the flooding of the park, there will be a midnight bikini mud wrestling party behind my dorm. all are welcome.
I have got to stop getting laid on my lunch breaks. I AM SO HUNGRY RIGHT NOW.
so the good news is that i can't possibly burn my eyelashes off tonight at the bbq.
Were making Christian mingle accounts. First one to get laid doesn't pay bar tabs for a month.
Challenge accepted. See you in hell.
there is no excuse for drinking mascato in your room alone while listening to one-hit wonders from the 90s
Would it be inappropriate to trade Christmas cookies for sex?
I forgot to tell you. Your neighbor was walking his tiny dog and saw me crawl out of my jeep drunk vomiting and holding onto my bumper. He just said: morning! all friendly.
while i am personally glad that we met...i feel like for society as a whole it was a bad thing
Is it weird that i want a guy to ask me to homecoming by spelling it out in meatballs?
THATS VERY WEIRD
it wasn't a total waste of time; I mean how often do you get to play scotch pong?
.....fair enough
I got wine drunk and bought a hedgehog
I went to steal condoms from your room and all I could find was chik fil a sauce
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