There is no excuse for watching a Jesse McCartney movie.
I wouldn't fuck her. Looks like her vagina smells like a seaside orgy.
But fine, we can play that game. You can come over and we can have totally platonic, long, boring discussions. Or we can fuck. Whatever.
Had a booty call cancel on me tonight. Said he hurt his back. So this is what single and 30-something is like. Suck.
I like you as a friend, but I'm in love with your dick.
Don't forget ur talking to the master juggler. Remember that time I slept with 3 guys and made them all pay for plan b? Paid the rent didn't I?
So I just sneezed blood everywhere. On the upside. After yesterday I feel way more confident AND I give even less of a fuck.
I think you just have to raise your bang age from 40 to 50, hope dust doesn't fly out and make her say tony danza
It's like Jesus got stoned and this would be the sandwiches he'd make
Rage-masturbating and then crying myself to sleep. Welcome to Wednesday.
So, no matter what happens today, hold on to this. At least you're not naked under your ex husband's trench coat being stopped by the police who also work with your ex husband. Long story. Actually, not a long story. That's it.
Haven't sucked a dick since mid December. In crisis mode.
I've just had my first cup of coffee in a month and I moaned at the first drink and honestly I think this is the most sexual expreiance in 6 months
Now just crop his dad out and add it to the spank bank.
But yeah, I am thinking that "Cake Heresy" will now be a thing
Randomize
