guess who came home with a hottie last night
Def drugged
we went to that german restaurant and drank out of the boots. Then I threw up into one
this morning i woke up with my panties on and i knew where i was. success.
Contrary to what I yelled at them last night, it turns out campus police CAN arrest people...
Dude, we're at Einstein's Bagels and the dude next to us is spreading cannabutter on his bagel.
For someone who "only drinks patron" your lack of pickiness with men alarms me
side note. good thing you didn't come to drunk breakfast. we were judged by children.
you were leaning up against the wall pulling your shirt up asking girls to dance on you. your courage to do that is both admirable and frightening.
i want to go make food but i'll have to face my mom after telling her that the random i'm sleeping with, whose name i don't know, told me I was "too slutty to be his girlfriend" when i was drunk last night
He ripped off my pantyhose and all I could think was, "oh no those were clinic-appropriate!" That's what I get for ditching a continuing education meeting to go hook up with my scuba instructor.
I got slapped by a drag queen and bitten on the arm by either a random girl or a weird mouth shaped dog. Tough to tell without seeing the teeth
I'm going to have to include Angry Orchard in my thesis acknowledgements
She showed me her tits outside Taco Bell....After she flashed the dude working there in an effort to get in.
Dude, I'm thinking today is Single as Fuck Friday because that's how I'm feeling
What do you mean relationship? He paid for my tires and I gave him a blow job.
Randomize
