I just heard a mom tell her toddler son "shut the fuck up. Don't ask me to buy you shit when i'm taking u to go see some fucking animals" welcome to the bronx.
Remind me tomorrow to take that ball-gag out of my purse.
I officially lit my glove on fire while lighting the bong. Winter needs to end.
It's raining. Will need ride home and blow job.
Dreamed I made out with a stranger after falling out of a car, let's make this happen tonight.
I'm cuddling with a baby pig and drinking champagne right now.
he told me while inside me and mid thrust that he's dreamed of that moment since high school... awkward
My hair is crimped, I am walking with a roadie, and my vibrator is in my purse. I feel sorry for tomorrow.
we were playing waterfall, then strip waterfall, then we were just listening to music, drinking, and slowly becoming more naked
Sometimes I think about the fact that I lost my virginity while watching anime and I wonder what that says about me
I feel like captain Morgan put his peg leg up my ass
I've peed outside too many times in just this past week
Blacked in cold and wet, with them areound me singing Aaaaall we are saaaaayiiiing is YOU PEED YOUR PANTS
I can count on one hand the number of good things that happened over the past year.
i’m blowing bubbles in my bloody mary so yeah it’s pretty much time to go
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