It feels like he gave my taint an indian burn.
then for some reason i googled "how much to buy a cannon"
She told me she couldnt give me head last night because she was running out of listerine
winter break is gonna be like a weird mixture of rehab fat camp and holiday cheer.
In case you were wondering, transporting lube in a ziploc bag is just as bad of an idea as it sounds.
You know how hard it is to drive a dirtbike down a road with 2 plants of weed on your lap. Fucking hard
we're stoned watching those roller coaster simulators w our hands up screaming on our couch
she's sniffed three people's necks on the bus to see who the good smell was coming from...
she's gonna get diseases
If we're single and alone together, the fuck angels shall sing upon our nude bodies.
I'll be back in a hour going with Jason to get his nipples tattooed back on again
This friendship isnt goin to work if you dont respond to my drunk texts
i smell like vinegar and tequila i can feel the old people behind me judging
So...#1 on my TO DO list for college is to fuck someone somewhere in the stadium during the homecoming game...you down?
Right now I'm laying face down on my carpet in my living room in the darkness sending work emails from my phone.
It's a glamorous life.
Lately I've been very attracted to Kevin Jonas because he's like...less hot than Joe, but he's this healthy mix of both Joe and Nick. It looks like he's finally growing into himself.
Randomize
