the $50 fast cash from checking button should just be retitled "8th of weed"
every time you want to hook up with a guy who has a girl friend, i'll just give you a freshman
The last memory I have is vomiting into a box and her rubbing my back saying "you are such a trooper..."
I have bruises covered in glitter and someone just asked me if I realized I'm bleeding from both ears. This is awkward.
I paid some man $10 for his shirt last night cause I liked it. Explains that. Bought the jackolope head from a street vendor. Got invited to someone's hotel rooftop swimming pool which explains why I was in my bathing suit. My clothes from last night are MIA. Going over the border with no pants on is awkward. Origins of the car rim still mysterious.
Between the hair pulling and the choking its its more like combat than sex
Sorry I have an "Operation Iraqi Freedom" fantasy
you went over to those random dudes and told them you were an ordained minister and would like to bless their food. they laughed and agreed, then you said "now bow your heads in prayer" as soon as they did you grabbed a taco off their tray and bolted out the door.
FRIENDSHIP PRAYER: May the crabs of 1,000 whores infest the crotch of the person who fucks up your day
I posted her number in the m4m casual encounters area of Craigslist.
I guess her always saying "gay men love me!" will finally get put to the test.
New low. I just threw up in the shower at 4pm. Nothing like leaving behind my 20s with class.
Ended up in some house where this dude has a $1200 leopard cat
video games take priority over anything else you can offer me.
i am craving dick and cupcakes
Not sure who they are or where we're going but they just bought me 3 tacos so I'm staying.
My lack of taco bell is hindering me from seeing the good part of that situation
Randomize
