i upgraded from drunk texts to drunk e-mails...real world here i come
I fukin lobve the states. Girls here let me fuck them because they like my accent. I may not go back
Dude they have ski ball. Anywhere that has skiball is bound to be bangin.
i feel like our whole relationship was one big acid trip
just as they were cutting his pants off he made em stop & said "everyone knows about shrinkage right".
It's like a party bus, but there's a glass, airtight wall separating the driver from the passengers, and once everyone's on, they pump vaporized THC into the cabin.
In case you were wondering, taking me to see beauty and the beast in theaters would totally get you an unsolicited sloppy beej in the parking lot afterwards.
You should probably take note of that and make it happen.
And then you proceeded to sneak behind thee bar and hold up an empty bottle of vodka and scream LOOK WHO THE BARTENDER IS NOW BITCH!
so i ran into nick. i may be more gay than anticipated
And by pregame I mean drink heavily and watch Russian dash cam car crash vids
Just smoked a joint with the hottest patient. God I love night shifts.
When you get this divorce finalized we're going to mid evil times AND pirate dining adventure. We're gonna find you a couple of real men and make them joust/swashbuckle for your affection. My treat.
He sent me a dick pic from a port-o-potty in Boston. If that's not love Idk what is.
I yelled at your uterus for you.
Dude. Craziest ride ever. I was convinced that the bus was an airplane. There were clouds when I looked out the window. I got really upset every time the bus turned because airplanes shouldn't turn.
Randomize
