I saw that some person on TFLN used a bag of wine as a pillow. I tried it last night. I forgot to close the spout. I woke up and thought my face had a period
i actually looked down at my cock today and said "whoa buddy, you need a haircut....(grimace) and a shower"
Just saw a girl trying to crack an egg with her butt cheeks. I think I know what we're doing thursday night.
No, I stopped taking my meds because I like crazy me better
she was eating donuts out of the garbage. enough said.
Just saw a dude in a banana costume get beat down by a one shoed black dude wearing a kilt...paninis is such a shit show after 10 on a Saturday
I just saw him carrying his little sister while walking his puppy. And he was shirtless. I swear my ovaries just exploded
I miss living with her. She was the only person who was a bigger train wreck than I am.
He sent me a picture of his dick earlier so now we can all laugh at him tomorrow
The only thing left on my Bucket List is getting fingered at an aquarium.
I think you handled your pregnancy scares better than that cricket in your bathroom
what's your room number? I've never been there sober...
And for today's main disappontment. I thought I saw a midget with fireworks get on the buss, alas it's a child with cleaning supplies
Dude they are making elephants out of dollar bills. I'm way too high for this
But then our conversations are like black box recordings. Just the stuff you hear when the plane is going down
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