So how did finding that girl you know on GGW go?
I was so pissed when it just previews her all covered up. It would have been easier to just have sex with her
Yeah but then you would have a case of genitals gone wild
ok so the lil girl sitting behind u was picking the hairs off ur sisters back and putting them in her mouth
I tried to pay my bar tab with my gym membership card. Twice.
He asked about stds. I told him I don't have any... which I don't. They are now called sti's. Whooopsie
Bring mistletoe to the strip club, and they feel obligated. they dont even charge you
98% is good enough for me. Kinda like birth control. Worth the risk
I fucked a 6'7 Danish man. In the ocean. At 5am. Greetings from Florida!
How are ur friends?
One is peeing in the grass and the other is asleep under the stairs. Fuck them I'm sleeping in the car
my mom was by far the drunkest one there. best impromptu wednesday afternoon party ever
While the bouncer was checking my purse, he found a bag of pasta noodles in it and asked me why I put them in my purse. I said to him: "So the guy knows I can cook."
Those were some damn good pancakes you made last night.
Dude I've been in FL since Monday.
I wrote "fuck you meg" on my toaster strudel with the icing. I call it "passive aggressive breakfast"
Naked snow angels was a very bad idea. My vag is now frozen shut.
By 9 pm this evening I'll have accomplished smashing with two different guys in two different time zones in the same day.
Stay hydrated
if I dont text you back in 10min assume i am in fact still dizzy and injured myself in the shower. and call an ambulance. thanx.
Randomize
