i've never seen someone fall down the steps so gracefully... i think im in love
birthday sex, birthday sex, birthday sex
I'm on my period, period, period
I feel like I should I write an apology note to the frat for falling down stairs, passing out on the couch, and chugging the entire bottle of burnetts at semiforml last weekend. Apparently I was the main topic of discussion at their chapter meeting last night.
i dont think the girl sending me nudes is qualified to pass judgement on me
We have to talk through the words with friends chat so his gf won't find out
If only guys knew how much awkward ass shaving goes into making sex this good...
you started putting condoms on anything with a point, then you were yelling at the lamp for using your last condom...
And I'm not sure if that's how you pluralize penis. Never planned on needing to know that in my life.
Well, if he didn't want to get caught mid-gay experience by his girlfriend, he shouldn't have pushed so hard to do MDMA with me.
Second time this week margarita night turned homoerotic
I didn't punch him it was just love coming out of my fist
I'm going through a really dark time right now
I don't want to hear it man. I just jerked it to a pic of my ex wife in a bikini. Buck up
So it was all good until she started grabbing my beard and telling me to "roar little lion"
I thought you died. Don't forget it's burger night.
Woke up. Found about 20 condoms upstairs. A hole in the couch. Bread on the floor. Going back to sleep.
Randomize
