the pizza man had no reaction when jackie and me opened the door naked, i guess he's used to that shit
Joey just asked me if I ever got anything stuck in my vag.
was it embarrassing when you had to say yes?
and all i could think about was how mcdonalds would not be open anymore after we were done having sex
Well he's in a two year college so technically hes a senior. At least can we just pretend I'm not robbing the cradle.
Are you really this nice or are you just trying to get in my pants?
Both?
Acid flashbacks - fact or fiction? Have been seeing a surprising amount of sparkly shit this afternoon...
He insists on falling asleep with his penis between my buttcheeks. He says its his "home".
The best part of that night wasn't even the sex, it was listening to her explain to her boyfriend why she was naked in her room while I hid in her closet.
The worst decision I made last night was allowing myself to be duct taped to the ceiling
If I have to go to the hospital, at least put my pants back on. It's been a fantastic night.
Someone touched my vagina when we were out last night. The fact that it was you is inconsequential and I am still counting it as a pull.
damnit. I just found my cousin on tinder.
Is "You've never made me cum." an acceptable breakup line?
My adderall dealer raised his prices due to "impending inflation" ... never buying from a college grad again
It's official. My little brother has had more sex in my car than I have. I'm still tied with my little sister. I hate everybody.
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