After they won there was a guy outside Magee Hospital yelling "name your kid Sidney"... that guy may or may not have been me.
Shaq going to Cleveland; Vince Carter to the Magic; Michael Jackson, Farrah Fawcett, and Ed McMahon die.... ARMAGEDDON IS UPON US!!!!!
I'd give my left nut to see you
don't do that. I like the set
Im not gonna remember this tomorrow but the real money is in coke i wanna get a dark wood desk and cell coke then i can own taco bell and the xxl chalupa will be mine
Just erased 'masturbate' from my mental To-Do list because I've got too much stuff to do. I hate adulthood
Yelling drunk tank or bust at a cop, not a good idea
I think I have vodka in my lungs
I have an odd instinct I wont find my underwear tonight
Were gonna hotbox in the trunk. I think there's room for another half of a person if you're interested
i'll get you drunk even if i have to inject alcohol into your arm through an IV
you're the only one i would trust to do that
I thought of you this morning when I woke up in a bed with a girl wrapped in duct tape dressed as a coors light can.
ive cried into many a lonely burritos..
brushed my teeth nine times since getting home, still afraid there are pubes hiding in between my molars. fucking gummy bears
So what if you don't want to be with your family. Go drink alone and watch Netflix like a normal person, don't be productive!
Would the comment "Down Goes Frasier" be too inappropriate at this time?
Randomize
