I am in shape. i keep telling you that.
Round is not "in shape," it's "a shape."
Puking blue powerade in mcdonalds parking lot to the applause of the guy taking out the trash with man in the mirror blasting in the background. Good morning stl
I'm bringing in a picture of a stranger on facebook to get my haircut. I have reached a new level of creepy.
well I mean we knew we had more drinkers than runners, so we had a "case race for the cure" for relay for life instead of an actual marathon. day drinking and philanthropy. can't go wrong.
Half my make-up was stuck to his thigh where I'd fallen asleep after the blowjob.
I don't know what you're talking about but its dick galore in the tub. We will be getting poked tonight. Bring forks.
Please save me from this creative non fiction class. I just wrote a paper about how I spend unhealthy amounts of time with my cat.
I spend unhealthy amounts of time watching RuPaul's Drag Race.
I referred to the cat as amicable.
For graduation he gave me roses, a giraffe necklace, and a butt plug. I think this might be my one shot at true love
My card got declined when I tried to buy dippin dots at 2 am, the lady gave them to me for free because "I looked like I needed them."
No, I found out he was gay when I walked in on him blowing the guy from the dorm room next to ours.
Never doubt me. I am drunk and unstoppable and I will finish this book
I woke up not knowing what state I was in. Turns out, people from Deleware are pretty helpful.
I thought I came here to hook up, not for a Study Abroad 101 session
Wow I really just sharted up in this Kroger
my mom is drunk and is trying to get me to take a picture of her ass. what is life?
Randomize
