He is such a slut. More and more my type.
Do you ever close your eyes when your having sex with your girlfriend and pretend she didn't get fat after high school?
Dude, she uses Old Spice. It smelled like I was eating out my grandfather.
Yeah someone just put a trash bag that says "use protection" on the snow penis
And i didn't ask you to do that, You showed your penis at your own free will.
I have no recollection of sleep choking you
I'm gonna fuck that sweet little pussy of yours into absolute submission
Wow. Sorry. As soon as I sent that I felt inappropriate. But yes. Bring a sandwich after. Lol
He ripped off my pantyhose and all I could think was, "oh no those were clinic-appropriate!" That's what I get for ditching a continuing education meeting to go hook up with my scuba instructor.
WHAT THE FUCK KIND OF NINTENDO FILLED GLORIOUS ENCHANTING FANTASY LAND ARE YOU IN?! DUDE DID YOU MOVE TO THE 90S?!?!?!
Is it OK to disqualify a potential therapist if she lists 50 Shades of Gray as her favorite book? Or is that a good thing?
When he's drowning in your chest and he muffles out the words 'I just want to live here' that's a compliment right?
Had sex in a blanket fort. How was your weekend?
Did you fill my inhaler with tequila?
Yeah, so?
Wow i just puked in front of the lady that was drug testing me. I passed though!
If I shall die, I wish to bequeath to you my personal library, my sigma tau delta presidency and all it's apparel, and a puppy.
Randomize
