their songs make me feel all the things I wanna feel. Ya dig?
and what kinds of feelings would these be?
Happy, horny, occasionally hungry
Want to have sex later?
This feels like a trap
Ever since I got married, I've become the MacGuyver of masturbation
ironically, his detergent was also "small and mighty"
Did you ever stop and think that god invented whiskey dick specifically for me
I was riding her and she yelled "fuck me" then someone in the room next door yelled "you don't have to say it if youre doing it."
Sorry I invoked the "everyones getting smacked including myself policy last night"
You are so predictable. I am willing to bet 20$ that instead of going out you are sitting on your couch, stoned, watching Seinfield re-runs and eating cheezits.
1. they're goldfish. 2 fuck you
Can we fangirl? Can we have fangirl Tuesdays?
Sure lol what's that?
Oh, dear, sweet Laura. Please start singing A Whole New World. I have Aladdin's part, you're Jasmine.
Why?
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He shattered his pelvis base jumping so his dicks out of commission for 4 months. Your up, second string.
You know you were way drunk when you wake up at 7 AM halfway on a couch, tangled in a sheet with your shoes still on.
I've faked every orgasm I've ever had, I think I can fake being sick for 8 hours.
My niece I'm babysitting left earlier to stay the night with her friend. I got ditched by an 8 year old.
I got St Patrick's Day drunk on Friday and apparently ordered a Total Gym in the middle of the night
I honestly have no desire to wear clothes around you
I have that affect on people
Randomize