hot girl, 5 o clock
do you know how to read a clock?
he asked me if i would dance for him to make it easier for him to jack off. does that answer your question.
I guess I'll put a green shirt on. Also, I just snorted some protein shake power. That doesn't have anything to do with St. Patrick's Day. I just wanted you to know in case i die.
If your wondering where your blanket is, I put it on the 2 guys you brought home last night. Their still sleeping outside on the trampoline.
There's just something about a dollar tree pregnancy test that screams THIS WASNT PLANNED!
I swear to god if he wasnt on the fourth floor balcony and I wasn't to drunk to climb I would kill him
there are casual beer cans in all of the public trashes, i belong here
Is there a reason there's a dick print on my seventh-story window?
I think the paper my teacher just handed back to me had one of his pubes on it, I'm way too hungover for this
You're telling that to the kid drinking Jack in nothing but a graduation cap
The guy I blew who bought us all the shots last night? I really think he's the TV guy I'm watching give the local weather. Like right now.
I wish I may, I wish I might, get some daddy dick tonight
I'm so drunk I forgot what to do to go pee.
Another thing to add to the list of things not to do while I'm drunk......explain to the upstairs neighborr how to have quiet orgasams......she now thinks I want to be part of a threesome......fuck my life
im mourning your vaginas lack of frictional upkeep
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