bobby jindal makes me wanna cover my ears. you make me wanna smile.
when i was 16 reading the aftercare instructions at the piercing place i wondered why they would ever think to warn me about getting semen in my bellybutton
then i met college
He said he wanted to have kids with me so they could grow up to be professional linebackers. Not. A. Complient.
I wish the inside of the tampon box said "CONGRATULATIONS YOUR NOT A MOTHER!"
Ill bet we could have atleast fucked a girl who fucked a guy who has fucked tara reid. That's a famous circle right?
dude all you wanted to do was sleep under a bridge
SANTA'S REAL. I GOT MY PERIOD.
i love you. like a brother. a brother that i had sex with more than once.
Are we responsible for the snowmen doing it doggy-style in my front yard?
Just pull your dick out and wink at her, its a game changing play
Haha ohman remember when I peed in your blender? Gotta love college.
YOU DID WHAT???
The moral of the story is this:the last shot of the night is always a mistake
My moral compass kept pointing to his penis.
It's taking all of my will power not to chug this margarita. This must be the life of an adult...
Why would I want a relationship when I’m the side dick for my boss and a few women from the gym
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