yo im tryna cop a beej tonight
I wasn't trying to make you feel bad, I just agreed with you that your life does suck.
I wonder if u can grow weed on Framville and sell it to Mafia Wars?
Had sex to a Lionel Richie song. I have a feeling I was conceived to it. Finally reached full circle.
crossed #23 off the Slucket List!
YOU JUST MADE YOUR SLUCKET LIST THIS MORNING.
I FINALLY HAVE A REASON TO DYE MY PUBES BLUE!!!
I threw away my jacket instead of washing it, the jungle juice stained me more of shame than red food coloring... i have never been that white girl wasted before...
i just had to pick up my 18 year old cousin from the police station for hosting a party, and i had to do this stoned wow
I wish university was like frosh week all the time and then they just give you a degree for surviving
And then I fed you egg rolls in bed as you were screaming I'm moving out
Aaand now my client contact has seen your boobs.
The notary thing was a good idea. I can charge $2 per signature. I'm currently being paid in beer.
Swimming turned traumatic when grampas shorts slipped off..
You know you're an adult when you start planning your hookup a week in advance
What's the blow job-backrub exchange rate these days? I've got some killer stress knots
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