We turned everything surrounding BP and the oil leak into a "that's what she said" drinking game. We've been drunk for a month
All I need in life is some dick and a big mac.
It was an 11am booty call. We were both out of our element.
If you really wanted to hide the fact you were gay, you could have at least had the sense to not get drunk in the same bar as your bf.
Our innocent game of 'Duck, duck, booze.' ended up not being so innocent
I barely remember the girls that I got pregnant, you think I'm gunna remember the ones that played handball
I woke up to an alarm on my phone that said "Buy Plan B" and then the guy offered me a hairbrush... which seemed polite at the time
When we were texting for those few weeks, I some how established a crush on you. And its weird and wild and stupid and silly. But these things just have to be said sometimes to determine what's real and what is infatuation. And to suffer the consequences of five am drunk philosophy. No regrets.
If I spent my amateur stripper money does that mean I am cleansed of my sins?
I hate how she's getting mean with age
Meh, you can't hate. That's our basic life goal and you know it.
Hot date tonight for the first time in months and I just cut my dick shaving. PRAY FOR ME.
When you trip so hard that you can see your friends thoughts through their pupils.
Is it bad when your own grandmother calls you a whore?
He's smoked my weed, stolen my cigarettes, and used my campus cash, but I try to initiate sex and NOWWW he's all "As your RA, that's a line I can't cross"
Questions: How did Rachel get home? Why did I find both her ID's in my shoes? And does anyone know if she's alive?
Randomize
