It's not a real calculator it's a math calculator
Girls gone wild is like the hills, except sexy and it doesnt suck
I told a kindergarten student that candy canes are bones of reject elves.
and when he finished he started shouting "swim boys SWIM"
ok, she started talking about how she swears her step dad killed her mom. starting to back out of this one
and ive been naked for the greater part of the evening. alone, drunk, and naked. i think that is how all great interventions start.
She looked up at the menu and yelled this is my absolute favorite literacy
He drunkenly stumbled over to me and told me my "crotch looks spectacular tonight"..... i think this could work
I have a half pound of weed, a case of beer, 8 frozen pizzas and a hard dick. You have a high tech super-bong and a chest of sex toys. That's our vacation week right there.
The cat be actin like a 2:30 am poop is the time to tell me all about her thoughts and fears in life. No bitch, this is definitely alone time.
Your next boyfriend should be from MENSA...you're so smart, it's intimidating as fuck. My penis retracted in fear.
Apparently "Welcome to the Sin Cave" is not how I'm supposed to answer the door
What started out as a one night stand ended in him texting me the next day, saying he thought he was gay.
U NO SLUT. YOUR HEART IS JUST FREE.
My boss just offered me a vodka mixed drink at work I do not have a real job
Randomize