speaking of unleashing monsters, we need to get condoms
I love my bros weed
Im gonna hate it in like 20 mins though
We somehow managed to get the sumo-wrestler costume into the washing machine, but I don't think the cupcake icing completely came off... And it still smells like tequila.
She still cant shoot whiskey?
Im having serious doubts about this relationship
Steve called. He needs me to pick him up. He also asked for a set of his clothes, he can't find them. He is such a strong motivation to stay sober.
Fuck you for setting me up with the guy from the Nickelback cover band
Payback for not stopping me from fucking the guy in the wookie costume
I am trying to take a picture of a man in a wheelchair trying to ship a michael jackson portrait
I creeped him on fb. I'm about 90% sure I just blew him in the same tux he wore for his wedding..
The sad part is that if I don't get a random pic of your balls or ass or both every month, I start to worry that we're not friends anymore
I'm still getting random messages from guys about my Halloween outfit. Electrical tape is coming back next year
Just got a blow job from a woman on a ski slope. She said ski'ing frightens her and giving head calms her down. Glad I could help ma'am!
I spanked her so hard I woke up Grandma
I’m ready to be reckless and make stupid decisions, and I need you to support me in that.
he's spending the night tonight. if i can walk straight tomorrow i'll be pissed.
Turns out dignity is priceless and Plan B costs $41.09
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