this may or may not be the weed talking, but this is by far the best tasting toothpaste i've ever had
WHAT IS WRONG WITH SOCIETY?!?!?!
... says the kid who took a shit in my parents dishwasher...
Next thing I know we're all standing in the kitchen holding hands and thanking God for the beer.
I officially lit my glove on fire while lighting the bong. Winter needs to end.
No, this is non-alcoholic oatmeal.
This dude has my number from April last year. Drunk me left sober me a puzzle. No confirmation of pants off business
looking at my texts from you makes me want to throw up in my pants
We convinced the Dj to let us play musical chairs...... I won by the way.
I need a straight guy to pretend to be my boyfriend for 30 minutes so that I can pull off an act of petty vengeance. Interested?
My parents just told me that if I stop drinking I could do something great with my life...
They obliviously haven't seen you dance on top of a pool table then
I mean, the night I fell out of that bus I made you pour vodka onto my wound to clean it, then duct taped a paper towel to my hand and kept drinking.
It's Scottsdale, it shouldn't be this hard to find drugs.
Can we relax the "married man" rule just once?
burned my penis with a sauteed onion again.
Have you actually looked at the corn flakes box? I don't think the rooster has a soul.
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