I just put anything in between my legs and hope for the best.
so when i dont talk to her she talks to herself...idk whats worse
we just bought Vicodin from the Chinese delivery guy, this day just keeps getting better.
You made everyone who was on the patio sit on the floor and join your "ship" because you were the Captain. It was cool though. You let me be your 1st Mate.
you're my knight in shining pee-resistant armor
There's sex hanging in the air like a pinata. European people are no joke.
friends don't put videos of other friends on youtube puking on their professor on the first day
So the crazy cock blocking bitch sent her a picture of her boobs using MY phone and said: he's busy at the moment
I'm watching the Brazzers version of Mary Poppins and enjoying it. Volume on and all. 45 minutes.
The George Foreman grill is melted. I don't know what other problems could arise.
video games take priority over anything else you can offer me.
I had a threesome last night with my fiance' and our soon to be best man. Everyone is surprisingly chill about it this morning. Is this any indication of what the wedding night will be like?
Remind me to do laundry tomorrow so i have something decent to take off when i get laid.
He had a tattoo of a crown above his penis. He was AMAZING! It was well deserved. LONG LIVE THE KING!
Wrong Cuomo but I had a dream last night in which I was very sexually attracted to Chris
Randomize
