i'm so bored i'm watching porn for fun. not even jacking off or anything. just watching.
i can't believe you bought a jetta. you know that's a girl car, right? if i hadn't had sex with you, i'd have no other proof you're straight.
She tried to kill herself by taking a whole packet of panadol. I mean HELLO THAT'S ME EVERY SUNDAY MORNING.
I'm sitting here in nothing but my panties, eating beef jerky and reese's for breakfast.Today is not the day to expect me to make sound life decisions.
I just had to dig under a pile of condoms in my desk drawer to get to a blue book. Summer is officially over.
I'm cheerleading for traffic. people are staring. Why am i the only high person on the way to class?
I just don't know the best way to tell him I think I saw him in a porn. I mean I got off to it, isn't there some level of awkwardness there?
Do you have any pix of it limp? I wanna see the metamorphosis, like a cock caterpillar turning into a giant beautiful cock butterfly!
yeah...that's gonna come up in court
Her next conquest seems to be stealing her ex-boyfriend's new girlfriend. Pretty sure everyone involved is totally OK with this.
I'll be home next weekend. Its mothers day. Let's party just enough so we are frightened it might be our first
He's way too stoned. I took him to el bra and he's laying on the table, not sure what to do with him
And the next thing I knew I was blowing this random hot italian bartender with an uncircumcised penis in his work closet
Do you remember punching the light out in the bathroom? I didn't, and that was at bar 2 of 4…
Guess who won a basket of sex toys in front of his parents, aunts, uncles, sister, and cousin...
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