I have to tell you about my conversation with the cloud dragon!
i might have gotten away with it if "don't tase me bro!" wasn't the first thing i said when i rolled down my window.
we're microwaving frozen margaritas its not the same without u
I asked you if you were ok and you said "dude I'm fine, I'm in the recovery position"
Hey, did you take me to hospital last night?
Champagne is a vitamin, right?
you proceeded to scream out that it's your birthday to everyone who walked by before you collapsed in the middle of the street. happy 21st birthday to you.
Maybe I'm a robot.
You can't be that drunk already
I've liked him since I puked on him on my birthday so I want it to be special.
Really because I got kicked out the eagles game for running up n down the steps singing ' fly eagles fly ' then punched a Dallas fan in the face before the game even started..
At no time is it ever okay for my doctor to compliment my tattoos, when giving me a physical exam.......
WHY DID YOU DRUNK DIAL MY MOM?!
Because mine was sitting on the bar stool next to me...
Fuck you guys, I'm trying to nurse my hangover and eat my chicken tenders in peace.
He drove over an hour to get this shit done. I guess i win the golden vagina award tonight
There's hope in those eyes, for a better tomorrow or more cocaine, we may never know, but there's hope.
Randomize
