honestly, who buys weed with an unemployment check?
you.
oh yeah. preciate
I swear she didn't look like that last week.
at church Sunday morning I dropped an M&M down my dress and it landed in my bra. I fished it out and ate it. A lot of people saw me.
Note to self: never go down on a girl first thing in the morning…its like opening a grilled cheese sandwich
i wonder what barack obama's brickbreaker high score is...
Peed on my phone. Dried it out in oven. Technology is both a plus and a minus.
I HATE DRINKING WITH JUST GIRLS, ITS 1030 THEYRE ALL HAMMERED AND TALKING ABOUT HOW AWESOME THEIR SHOES ARE!!!!!!!
Just put your hair in a bun. We're going out to drink, not to impress people.
I heard an explosion in the backyard. You told me you were playing "will it burn".
Rosemary is literally sitting on the ground holding on to the rug because she thinks she is going to fall if she lets go. We smoked way too much.
I'm so busy i barely have time to have sex with myself. I have to talk myself into it like an old married couple.
I used to think not drinking while I was pregnant was not gonna be a problem, but I now I'm like shit that's a long time
did you just send me my own nude
Just got done being naked and Mooning the cops. I'm still alive. Let's drink.
I just remembered that I totally burped into someones mouth when we were making out. I was really smooth about it so he didn't notice.
Randomize
