i just googled "who won the civil war" . how can i still have a 97% in this class?
you told all the 17 year old girls at the party that your mating call was "I glitter in the sun"
just paid a stripper to have a minute conversation about the arizona game WTF
It's not kidnapping if it's romantic
The tornado sirens were going off and everyone just ran to the liquor store. .
he put on The Eye of the Tiger while she was in labor.
I'm just concerned it's gonna end up in my vagina again
I made him breakfast and we cuddled on the couch watching march of the penguins, which is, in case you were unaware, the opposite of fucking on a pool table
announcing that you were the mayor of bjtown got their attention.
Idk tell her to wear something sluttty. I have that one skirt I got arrested in if she wants to borrow?
He's slurring his text. I didn't think that was possible.
Yes. I'm realizing that sports games are good reasons to drink. I just cheer when everyone else cheers.
Do you think showing up at his door with bourbon and chicken is too forward?
It’s like my vagina just knows when a man is a barrel-chested freedom fighter.
I NEED HELP. IM TRIPPIN BAWLS IN THE BACK OF MY MOMS CAR.
Randomize
