I will die if light touches me.
I tried watching the view, i got through 8 minutes. That is probably a world record.
They always sound like a bunch of chickens.
We fucked on top of all of our English papers in celebration of the semester ending.
we should hire that guy that makes pancakes that we met last weekend for our next party. He can feed us, and regulate!
There was a guy on the elevator dressed as santa in flip-flops giving away beer.
Yeah dude. They were so drunk they actually drank the pool water. Which I'm pretty sure will kill them. My parents chlorine the shit out of that thing cuz they know how much sex my brothers have in it
i sound like a 75 year old homeless man that has spent all his panhandling money on cigarettes since he was 12. that rough.
Sometimes I envy you, when I'm not praying for your soul.
TIL a potato cannon can be loaded with dildos as ammunition. Boy, do our neighbours love us!
I am not a slut. I'm just very open with how much I love to have sex. Stop judging.
Dude, there are some things that you can't un-see. Her, beached on a dog bed, is one of them.
Happy 4 year arrest-aversary! I promise no thanksgiving has been as eventful as that one haha..
I'm so happy for you. But I still have to shave because a woman has needs and this woman needs an orgasm.
I left him naked in his bed. I did cover his junk with a blanket in case his roommate walked in later though. so I don't feel as bad about it.
What the hell do you do when your fuck buddy leaves to go for a piss naked and 20 minutes later hasn't come back and can't be found anywhere in the house or outside but has left his phone, tee shirt and shoes in your bedroom.
I don't think there is a pre defined social etiquette for a lost naked fuck buddy now roaming the streets.
Randomize
