Also, the republican called me again last night. He called me dumb and ugly then begged to come over. Gosh... he knows how to make me want him...
I just needed to know whether or not to wear panties to work tomorrow.
were with a gay guy with a minnesota accent. think about how funny that sounds.
i woke up to my roomate hitting me in the head with a can of PBR at 8:30 in the morning...i love spring break
He's either a really good actor or an actual prince, I'm fine with both so I'll sleep with him.
I dont care how high you are, meat and sprinkles dont mix dude
Pretty sure i didnt get thrown out cause why dont i have more bloody areas
I looked the guy across the room straight in the eyes and said, "If you were any closer to me, we'd be making out right now."
And there was a legally blind kid in a ref costume doing surprisingly well at beer pong who was passing out business cards
Lets ignore the fact that you want to turn your dorm room into a sex dungeon and focus on the real issues here.
Was my mother there when I broke the stipper pole?
Getting dressed and listening to the song Buffalo Bill danced to in Silence of the Lambs. I'm a perfect psych major.
You're 21st was epic. I woke up at 6 a.m. on the floating beer pong table in the pool with a beer still in hand. Didn't even spill any
Found the cure to anxiety attacks.
An orgasm
At one point in the night, as we were running from the cops, I clearly remember you yelling "little gnomes are tickling the insides of my body!" ...that high.
Randomize
