I've been thinking about all the girls in my life in terms of applying to college.
Huh?
I guess what im trying to say is that your my safety school.
I no longer want to be the gay that plays in the revolving door at RelationshipDale's like a seven year old with a.d.d.
I'm pretty sure "Like A Prayer" will forever remind me of drunk nights & pants down around the ankles
i hope whoever thought of bagged wine flip cup last night has the same hangover as me. not ok.
I'm sorry. We set two Christmas trees on fire. Also the neighbor's yard. Also ours.
I have the coolest burn here. Everyone is taking my picture. I'm like a celebrity of the burn victims.
He had seven beers and tap-danced on the table like a pro. HOW DOES HE DO IT
No, trust me. Falling down the stairs is a fucking sobering experience.
Whatever. That's why I am to be babied like a calf. I regret nothing.
How long is enough time to schedule homosexual exploration... Like an hour?
He literally just made me hold his dick while he peed cause he wanted to know if I could aim as good as him
Just reintroduced tequila back into my life...so that's happening
YAS SHES BACK AND BETTER THAN EVER
Dude. She was wearing nothing but Wonder Woman panties and a flag for a cape and sneaking around leaving PBR's by passed out people for the morning. She called herself the 'Merica Fairy.
Why haven't you proposed already?
I was desperate and wasn't about to let my cereal get soggy so I ate it on the toilet. Don't let me repeat last night.
Hey can you send me a pic of your breast with a peace sign in the photo? I'm trying to win a scavenger hunt contest. Thanks so much
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