just gave a homeless man a kiss in exchange for two handles
exact location. now.
In America we eat man semen.
yeah well we're currently on the phone and she's telling me about how much she misses me and all this shit and i muted myself and i'm watching porn.
Also I got A jello shot for $2!!! It's like the forever 21 of bars
I seriously dont think i have ever ridden a horse sober.
I need to shower. I still have paint on me from the homeless guys
porn star boner night. come get it.
i jsut waqnnna hugg thw crap outa sokme peoplee
Amazing how you can get from "Merry Christmas" to sex in three texts.
I could have done it in 2
New wedding record, my shirt was off by 8pm!!!
Anddon't worry about me I have my Darth Vader flashlight
So his dick was definitely bigger than it looked in all the pictures he sent my daughter.
Puke-y regrets or just things-seem-far-away regrets?
Dude come over...were drunk and I'm holding a T-shirt gun and discovered beer cans are the same size as rolled shirts.
Ps can u get with my cousin? He's a freshman at uconn and he's very attractive but like were related....
Randomize
