let's bang
You're in my phone as 'Weird Bus Guy' so I think my answer's no.
I have a new reason to go to work: I can tell which 3 of my coworkers are sisters just by looking at their butts.
The more I throw up, the more I am remembering exactly what I drank last night...in order.
he got mad when I told him his flaccid penis looked like a sleeping kitten
I was fingering her, she was moaning, and we were singing Mulan
I'll have to explain it to you tonight when i call drunk. It will sound better
he suggested we do it doggy style cuz it was his dead dogs birthday...i had to do it
It's home.......I'm going to the store in disguise to get skittles and cake frosting. Then I'll eat the frosting in a dark corner while I cry and wonder what I did to deserve this.
Its funny that for once I get home and I'm just as high as my parents are.
Is it weird that I noticed my lower half feels strange and then further realized it's bc I'm wearing underwear to bed for the first time in weeks..maybe months?
Remember when we tried to have fun last time..? I got put in a choke hold and you woke up in some ones car.
Tight. Want to get up, make coffee, sit on separate couches and silently read our mobile devices together?
He poured champagne on my pussy while he ate me out. I found my unicorn.
how does that bad decision feel?
If you had a good reason for throwing the toaster at the wall, now's a good time to tell someone. My parents are on their way back and you know my dad and his pop tarts.
Randomize
