The dutch village is so much worse hungover. Fuck them and their wooden shoes.
We spent three hours cleaning our room this morning. It was spotless and smelling good. I come home from work tonight and she has already smoked weed in it and "accidently" spilled vodka on the floor.
Is it bad when your hot neighbor is crying on her porch, and your 2nd thought is "maybe her boyfriend cheated on her and she'll want to fuck me for revenge sex?"
Perfectly normal.
At some point last night was I riding a garbage can.. Things are starting to come back to me
Soooo how am i supposed to explain to my mom that i was admitted to the hospital but you kidnapped me within 20 minutes?
Watching porn with a bag of marshmallows. Thats when you know you're stoned.
Is it possibile to sprain your taint?
She was that bad?
Idk. The last coherent text said something about $25 & dimes. And then...it's just letters...
Dude, you need to man up. You passed out before a PRESEASON game. It's a long season.
I have a vague memory of you tryin to ride a unicycle through jimmy johns
Ill go to bed but tamed sharks isnt so much of a bad idea. Not for riding
We got high and watched Winnie the Pooh. Isn't that what every normal person does on their break?
Quote from doctor, "that is a VERY angry vagina".
I'm fucked.
you bit my nipple really hard and then looked at me and said 'i feel responsible for the state of your nipples'
Last night I made out with two lesbians while dancing with another girl. I'm pretty sure it wasn't even real life.
Randomize
