fine then we can just have courtesy sex i definetly won't like it
So I just saw a commercial for tickle me Elmo furry gloves. And I thought hmm I bet I could jerk off with those. Is that a sign of deepseated charachter issues?
Dude, he sent me a pic of his dick. I thought dating a married man wouldn't remind me so much of high school. Seriously.
He did not want a thank you for helping me move in bj. I don't know how to thank him now.
And I can taste the vodka through my ears. Good god.
I'm at a nursing home getting weed. Lol when times are tough, things tend to get a lil weird
Well I talked to some Canadians today, and I'm keeping a vigilant watch for sharks, so I'm pretty booked up.
do you know how ratchet you have to be to get kicked out of a drag club on Halloween weekend??
She can't brag about all the anal sex she has and then expect me not to awkwardly stare at her boyfriend when she brings him around
Boobs have been pretty central in my life somehow lately which makes me question if I am truly gay
Why would you waste your Ritalin on your children?
How do you politely tell someone to get out of your house in Russian
fucked him on the porch to avoid the chanting that always happens when we leave the bedroom. backfired when a group of freshman walked by and started screaming like fucking babies.
If I don't wake up tomorrow you inherit my paycheck and can only spend it at cinnabon
you told us the chicken was mocking you, then proceeded to explain that every time someone reads your mind you accidentally think of something sexual
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