I feel great
I just peed on a car
I should be nowhere even remotely near facebook in this condition.
so I'm in athletic shorts, a suit jacket and I'm still drunk at 6:30am at the last leg of relay for life
Wouldn't pinatas filled with coke be awesome idea for cinco de mayo?
the pic of her and her boyfriend fell off the wall as we were fucking.
And she was like "I wanted you all for myself, to love you, and treat you like gold."... See this is why I shouldn't fuck Italian chicks...
I'd like to bring you 40 virgins and treasure chests of gold to make you feel better
I seriously told a stripper I would hold her hand when she goes to get ass implants.
Definitely got a blow job in Charles Schwab's bed last night.
I love my job.
FOUND: my underwear in the cabinet above the toilet. What the actual fuck.
Don't put me in that position. I am not qualified to be the responsible adult here.
He said 'I really struggle with the sin of lust' then we proceeded to have sex. So I guess it was a perfectly executed Catholic pick up line?
We will just distract him with tacos and porn.
This is the fourth guy that I've broken in to gay sex. How the hell do they find me?
Positive reviews on angieslist?
Eventually the conversation shifted (as it always does) to Sex toys.
Randomize
