when she started arguing that Girl Talk was in fact a DJ, i knew i could never sleep with her
no more everclear, i just stood next to the toilet and peed my pants. then went back to the party soaking wet.
His dick was poking my bladder. That big...
It was a sobriety test blowjob. If he could get it up, he could get me home.
The only requirement is that his name is Kevin... All other factors don't matter to drunk me. Drunk me likey Kevins.
Ugh I miss culture and lesbians already
Maybe it was that imaginary ghost dick you were stuffing in your mouth a minute ago
The best part about drinking boxed wine is you can blow up the bag and use it as a pillow
He is full of southern hospitality and I want to be full of him.
You need to be full form and virile tomorrow so I can live vicariously through your rub and tug.
I was wondering why he was in my phone as "Cat Guy", he seemed pretty normal. Then when we woke up he was wearing a shirt with a picture of his cat on it. The name stays.
Yeah, nothing like barfing into a grocery bag you just put dog shit into.
Red Alert: She has 3 cats, a parrot, and 2 rats. Initiate Protocol Zero and rendezvous at Checkpoint Bravo for debriefing
I'm trying to secure Christmas dick. Idgaf if he has strep or not.
So... he's my second cousin's step-bro... To do or not to do?
Randomize
