Well I thought that next 8 ball would either kill us or turn us into Gods
went to library to start paper due tomorrow & took those orange addys u gave. now realizing they were ur xanax. completely fucked and going to fail, but calmly at peace with the situation.
It's 10am. I'm hungover wearing a flyers jersey and a phillies hat and eating a cheesesteak. I'm not the only one. Best city ever.
Valium party in the driveway. Attendance: 1. Don't make me do this alone.
asked the cab driver where he learned Swahili last night.
New favorite drinking game: bobbing for jello shots. Where did these freshmen come from and when can we go there?
oh god I've lost the ability to distinguish between 'star trek' and 'the future'
How long have I been using my debit card as a coaster?
You now have the mental image of me flying off into the sunset with no pants
I may or may not have definitely said the words "how do I put this beer in my purse without looking like an alcoholic" last night.
No. Every time we go there, you end up getting high, then lost, then going home with strangers.
FML I accidentally sent the text about his bruised balls as a group text that included his brother and my boss.
Rock bottom: having sex rejected while your boyfriend talks in his sleep as you stuff your face with Girl Scout cookies
Sorry I missed your call. I was in the shower washing away my sins and sweat. Please tell me you want to get drunk as shit later.
Your shit was massive.
I'm not 100% sure how to respond to that.
If you were in a "who has the massivest shit contest", you'd win by a landslide.
Randomize
