Fun fact: when I ripped off my wristband, I punched myself in the face. Rad
happy birthday! Any relationship between us is now officially illegal.
I woke up alone at my apt. On the floor with the door wide open, but still. Success.
im not sure. I kicked him in the ear last night trying to kick a plastic cup off his head to prove I can kick higher than anyone.
A guy wearing a hard hat while floating the river. It's the most responsible drinking we saw all day.
So ive narrowed my options down to getting food or masturbating. Don't judge me
tell me why they applauded then the bartender locked himself in the bathroom when i walked into the bar today ????
Cassie is wearing a baseball cap. This rebound is going nowhere
Breakfast of champions
Is that a dick crepe?
It is indeed
New reason to drink: alcohol makes soda taste like goddamn gold.
Im breaking out the trunk vodka tonight, its been aged to perfection.
I see you met someone special
Tent sex on an air mattress requires balance and flexibility. Not for the faint of heart
Why is there a pair of panties on my front lawn?
when the cops came she just started yelling at them "Fuck the police! freedom of speech bitches!"
Get your heels and tits on! I’m not wasting a Brazilian because his fucking kid ate paste or Legos and ruined an afternoon suite sex and room service
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