So I just had this crazy idea, and no it has nothing to do with the fact that they made me take shots at work.
just ate frosted cheerios in coffee with some marshmellows. the college diet begins
you refused to come out of the bathroom until i asked you in spanish
Whenever I said your name you screamed polo and did another shot.
she just walked in and said "well, I got peed on again"...
I'm pretty sure I just had a convo with my hot pockets about how they weren't good enough for the oven.
Nah nah nah the rules are different on st patty day, drink beer or die. It's like the hunger games but blurrier
My fuck buddy is great and all, but it gets weird when she gets in arguments with her BF in the driveway
He got naked after doing the Ice Water Challenge and it was still enormous. So, yeah, I stayed over.
... drunk me broke the coffee table?
STOP TALKING ABOUT YOURSELF IN THE THIRD PERSON. YOU DID THE THING.
Woke up this morning with girl, I ask her for some gum. She says "there's a guest toothbrush for the boys in my bathroom". I can't decide whats worse, that she has a shack brush or that I actually used it
Yeah but him not going to be sleeping in your sink this time.
You informed me your place was now a nudist colony and unless I was there to drink schnapps with the cat I had to strip.
im gonna shove his purity ring down his throat
if i drink i'll go into liver failure but ok
totally worth it, dude its $1 pbr
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