No, I was feeling sad because all of the other girls were like model-skinny. But then I remembered that I had big boobs and went to hit on their boyfriends.
Two girls are now jumping in the ocean naked at 10 PM...and I was just starting to hate Ocean City
I woke up face first on my living room floor arms outstretched toward the christmas tree
I think I just met the technical qualifications for binge drinking in five minutes
Wow, being the totally hot and slutty looking 30 year old lady on the dance floor does NOT necessarily mean that she has skills in bed.
that's the last time we turn jepordy into a drinking game.
Also, new rule: You are no longer allowed to send me a text with the word "dildo" in it before 10am.
Despite fighting the urge to vomit throughout the whole thing, I think that interview went really well!
You drank everything last night. It was like this huge deconstructed long island that went on for 5 hours
Its like a zucchini between his legs. An orgasmic zucchini.
I'm using my ex bfs phone number to look up his Kroger card so I can get a discount on condoms...yep this is my life
I've come to the conclusion that my issue is I'm not fucking a guy with a headboard
million dollar idea: razor dispensers in bar bathrooms. your welcome, girls who didn't think they were getting laid tonight.
i came so much i feel like i were to try again, only dust would come out. and maybe glitter
On cleanup... i've counted 94 solo cups so far.. oh, and i found a miniature top hat in the microwave
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