well my last 2 orgasms were over shoe sales at macy's. what does that tell you?
I must say, I don't like the act of throwing up, but the feeling after is quite delightful
The weird kid in front of me is reading an article titled "why don't i have a girlfriend?" the article then continues to talk about the mathematical equation for obtaining a girlfriend. exhibit a of why he is single
I wanna get FUCKED up and fail the piss test at my eval so they send me to detox and give me suboxone... Is that bad?
They have a pepper shaker for pot.
we walked in to her beating him with a broom while he was trying to sweep ramen into a box. there were packing peanuts everywhere.
They thought we spoke German and French even though we just kept repeating "I give to you a cat" and "Are you drunk?"
some girl at the bar told me my beard would tickle every inch of her body till she joy puked her face off.... that was so random and odd i just had to buy her a drink for having the guts to say it to me. WTF
She said our goal is to fuck in every bathroom at the reception which is at a country club. I will have the best wedding date ever! Were 4 for 4 in public.
Then me, her, and her mom snorted tequila. The bartender was in shock.
Can't find our DD
He's backstage giving the strippers foot massages.They kidnapped him the moment he walked thru the door.
Thanks for DJing my sex last night. You were on point 💜
It was rocky mountain showdown of course we got shitfaced and talked about eating buffaloes
Apparently I drunkenly told him I was going to ride him to the rodeo and break him like a bronco, then I stole his nachos and beer. Adulting is hard!!!
So do you guys remember Danny from Tinder?
Sorry I only remember personality traits, not names.
Randomize
