The dr is doing well, he randomly asked if I was bi
brass monkey on radio. cant stop dancing.
I'm not saying he's gay. Just that he prob knows what a dick tastes like
Way too hungover to be taking this many family pictures
U shoulda just taken her to a stall and banged her and let me watch the game. Some friend u r.
I'm spooning a three legged dog right now. Started drinking whiskey with Breakfast. Best part about being biracial is Irish cousins. Dog Pic Attahed
Just had a tv talk show interview in my mirror. Got into to some pretty heavy shit man, would have made good viewing.
She just tricked me into telling her the balance of my 401k... She's like a gold digging jedi mind trick ninja
He passed out again after sex. I've hidden all his clothes. There's no way he is sneaking out in the morning this time!
And I feel like pitchers of margaritas accidentally make it down your throat a lot.
I mean, the lady at the Mexican restaurant insisted. She said she would win a prize if she sold another pitcher before noon. And plus I got to wear a sombrero
Even worse we were making a sex tape so our reaction to the condom breaking was recorded.
HOLY SHIT. I JUST FOUND OUT THAT THE KARL/RORY BASEBALL FIGHT THAT RORY LOST WAS 2 YEARS AGO TODAY. RIP KARL'S DICK.
Drunk field day, hangover yoga and sober archery practice
He lit my hand on fire and bought me chicken nuggets. I'm in love.
OMG also, I'm sorry I tased you a lil
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