her eyes looked like someone had poured fruit punch in them. needless to say we had a good time.
she did the YMCA with her lgs... i think she forgot she wasnt wearing any underwear
don't blame me for your drunken lack of judgement
big words... still drunk. dont care. your fault.
He had me believing he was actually British until he came and used his real voice.
Soo time for a life change, my 6 yr old sister made my gf a puke bucket for her birthday
don't forget friday is see who can get the most free drinks at the gay bar contest. winner gets $50
So the crazy cock blocking bitch sent her a picture of her boobs using MY phone and said: he's busy at the moment
Random question, but did I leave a spoon on your dresser last night?
I'm not sure whom I'm texting but I put you in my phone as last nights fuck budy, and I'm just curious if I left my clutch with you?
Find a vagina and bring it to me. Like feeding a tiger.
Idk but she keeps giving me s'mores and I'm having a hard time caring about her alcoholism because of it
Were you citizens arresting people again last night?
Just remembered that I got laid thanks to my glow in the dark Batman belt buckle. Need to wear it more often.
She moved all of her stuff out while we were gone. Shit in the toilet, and didn’t flush. So yeah it went well.
We have sober sex! It's a real relationship.
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