Why don't you ever send me any naked pics
When she sits down, she uses her fat rolls like an arm rest.
just taught 3 girls from korea how to fist pump on chat roulette.
I must say your penis is just as photogenic as you
We drank a $4 handle of tequila until 5 am. Please think about that.
she pulled the sheets over her head to blow me but the static kept making little lightning bolts and I was too high and got really scared she was going to electrocute me.
I guess I just got drunk and ordered a mini fridge off the internet. At least now I know the 200$ that was missing from my checking account wasn't spent on lap dances only.
You could say the cab driver was less than excited when we called his personal cell phone at 4am for directions back to our hotel after having blacked out at the club
Sometimes familiar penis is best. Its like comfort food for your vagina.
The girl in the hotel room next to us walked out at the same time as me this morning. She just shook her head, looked at me and said, "faker." Is it that easy to tell?!??
before the moonshine you were already braiding the bouncers beard -_-
Don't drink and shop. I went for happy hour and came home with a fog machine. I now have no other choice but to scare the shit out of my neighbors with it.
i dunno, a lot of my childhood feels like a drugged up fever dream
Is it normal for a guy to send you a dick pic along with “He misses you”
i hooked up with all four beatles on halloween get on my level
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