don't tell her this, but while we were doing it doggy style I picked up my phone and changed my status to "who let the dogs out"
he's a nude model. what could you have done to make him feel awkward??
I thought this kinda shit only happens to ugly people
It's 10am. I'm hungover wearing a flyers jersey and a phillies hat and eating a cheesesteak. I'm not the only one. Best city ever.
I returned the dress. When they asked for the reason for return I said, 'I don't deserve to wear white'.
She kept saying 'I love you' but i couldn't tell if she was talking to me or to her beer.
Oh shit I just realized the ropes are still tied to the bedposts
Drunkenly bought a $240 realtor course last night. Apparently even drunk me thinks my future is going nowhere
They told you that you couldn't fit in the dryer. Man, did they eat their words. You did brake the door though.
I said geronimo as I came I'm not sure if he appreciated the doctor who reference or was just confused
Just walk up to him nice, spread your legs like smooth peanut butter on toast and scream "LOOK AT MY BEAVER! LOOK AT IT!!"
The fact that he said "there's nothing wrong with being a raging drunk, just ask my mother." has me thinking that I have no positive role-models among my friends.
You were naked too, so it cancels out. We're straight.
I yield to the immortal wisdom of one ludacris, who famously wrote, "can't turn a hoe in to a housewife." Indeed, ludacris, indeed.
Your children are clinging to me like my teets are full of bountiful milkiness. They're driving me nuts. I felt my uterus shrivel up.
Randomize