On a scale of one to Chris Brown, how angry are you?
Come on. It's already happy hour in Europe...Man up. "I'm at work" and "it's a tuesday" are not valid excuses.
Well someone named our apartment "the eiffel tower" on facebook check-in so I think they know..
Tipped our cab with a photo booth pic of us, a paper dollar, a dollar in quarters, a crest white strip. And a tanning pass valid in boston
hung over. covered in somebodies makeup. and ready to drink.
I might come over. Something about you makes me matronly and I have this urge to nurse you back to health with soup and a blowjob
Breathalizer & tazer party did not go as casually as expected.
Even with having the shower running and music on everyone could hear the alcohol gods making me sacrifice my dignity and meals from the past week.
He sent me a picture of his dick earlier so now we can all laugh at him tomorrow
I like that you're Jewish, because you can rail me on Christmas Eve and it won't be weird.
Just had sex in an ice hut. What have you done with your holiday break?
I'm 99% sure I just puked glitter. Wine drunk Mondays shouldn't be a thing.
I just projectile vomited into my kitchen sink. Today need to be over already.
Well it might’ve been because you asked to play What Makes You Beautiful at the club
We already gave up cheese, how are we supposed to give up coke?
Randomize
