It's really too bad Cosmo doesn't have "What To Do When You've Drunkenly Sucked His Dick and He Doesn't Text You Back" article.
I drunk wandered into my parents bed and slept between them
things I have learned from cosmo today- 40% of guys are uncircumsized, you can have a beer facial, and i really need to get tested for std's
My grandpa just complimented my boobs. Im taking this as a compliment but also brushing it off as alcoholism on his part.
oh god was she eating orange peels again
There was a stripper pole on the party bus. Was being past tense because some fat chick somehow tore it from the ceiling while grinding
I wanted to make fun of someone saying that to an untrained ear, skrillex is blah blah blah. But it was too soon after they said it. And now I can't find it. These are real problems.
dude he's still passed out in my bathtub. and his dick is half way in a 40 bottle... i really hope he was just trying to piss in it
I don't understand why you aren't on this trip all I do is smoke weed drink beer and get fingered
Id prob hit it, but i instagram edited her picture to make her look better. Ha. She should fuck me just for that.
When I watch porn and jerk off like 95% of the time Iron Chef is on in the background...
Friends don't let friends go vibrator shopping alone.
i can do like, 15 pushups. 20 if i listen to dubstep.
That time of your life is like a blur to me. There was churches, car fucking, and conservatives
My conscious state is steadily increasing towards drunkenness.
Randomize
