Tell her she can't have a vagina
I saw her while sober, and she is definately cut off from the penis ride
My jaw hurts. Such a slutty injury..
last night this guy was hitting on me by showing me the famous people he had in his contacts on his cell... when he asked me if i knew lindsay lohan, i said "whose that? sounds asian"
Sarah Palin just got hired for Fox News. Watch out Jersey Shore... there's a new drinking game in town
I just threw up during my phone interview for the largest PR firm in the world.
bailing my boss out of jail is a great way to spend memorial day
I'm partying with my neighbors right now, and by "with my neighbors" I mean they are partying in their backyard and I'm partying in mine, and by "partying" I mean I'm sitting here alone drinking tequila.
I'd bet your vomit would be flammable at this point. Can I try to light it?
We wouldn't be friends if you didn't.
Katelyn drunkenly ripped the soap dispenser off the wall so we decided to call it quits
Body shots with my MILFs MILF!!
All I did was send my mom an ecard
is one penis in the hand worth one better nicer penis in the manscaped bush?
I mean, he's 40, foreign, artsy but with substance abuse problems and estranged children. How is he not my type?
Does this mean I have to put a bra on now
No, I told him I was busy again this weekend. Eventually he’ll learn. Plus, absence makes the cock grow harder
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