Just met a synchronized swimmer, can you imagine the things she could do in the water
Legs for days
Harpoon that
I haven't gotten laid in forever. I'm obsessed. I imagine I this is how Ethopians feel about food.
If no ones going to say it, then I will. Vanessa Hudgens boobs are weird looking
I just realized that the music from spongebob is also used in real sex HBO.
i just identified you from a description of your pipe
She told me she needed to clarify that we are not fuck buddies, we are best friends that have sex once in a while
its not that he announces that he can deep throat a banana its the fact he knows he can and it makes me wonder how he found out
and a jello shot exploded in my bra last night. Now I have blueberry smurfette boobs. Awesome.
I feel that it is my duty to the human race to invent a colon squeegy
He either works for the Irish Mob or I'm being Catfished
Ive been high since the plane left the ground in Los Angeles and Ive been in Chicago. Right now, Im on a train headed towards downtown to go to an anime convention. At this point, I am just taking life as it comes, furries and all.
So is the trick to long distance communication to be drunk during phone conversations?
We were watchin sharknado and we hooked up while I had the Donald Trump shirt on. She said she felt like he was staring at her
Ugh, I should just give up, and fuck him in a parking lot, and shave my head and walk naked through the streets of King's Landing.
I'm pretty sure I hallucinated the existence of an entire human being last night.
Randomize
