WHY CAN'T YOU EVER SHIT LIKE A NORMAL PERSON, JESSE.
i'm starting to get pissed at how pandora is trying to force coldplay on me
you refused to come out of the bathroom until i asked you in spanish
maybe if i keep dancing i won't throw up
I need you to send me a picture of your dick. I want to forward it to that girl and you and i both know you're more impressively sized
We need to get sombreros so I can give them to strippers.
He tried to use a signal flare to light the bong
And?
He melted the stem
My life is sponsored by tidy cat kitty litter, Bacardi rum, and plan b.
My idiot ex texted me on Valentine's day to tell me I was right, he did need a therapist.
I'm kind of upset that he wanted to have sex instead of watch Harry Potter. I mean it's Harry fucking potter.
We probably are going to die. So. Thanks for agreeing to be my Maid of Honor even though I torture you.
Ripping out my IUD in Dave and busters bathroom
I'm glad we smoked together,that was probs the biggest sibling bonding we will ever have.
i can eat my weight in tater tots. don't test me, bitch
How did I end up in some random dudes car?
Some guy came up to you and asked if you knew how to drive stick.
Randomize
