Maybe if i steal enough bar glasses i can justify all the money spent i've spent there
the world took limewire and four lokos away from me in one week....hello depression
She was sitting there stuffing her face rubbing my back with a dorito cheese filled hand while eating something else with the other hand as I was crying.
noooo, I woke up on his pack porch and the SUN WAS RISING. I saw red lights everywhere and heard sirens so I just ran for my life.
I really can't get over how proud I am of all us getting laid at the same time in the same apartment
It was like the perfect storm of bad decisions.
You grinded on me in Jimmy johns to a madonna song.
My asshole is basically a geyser at this point. Minus the excitement. Plus blood.
Just got walked in on while fucking in the lounge in the performing arts building. The janitors gave us five minutes to leave and applauded our exit
He told her Jesus wouldnt yell curse or degrade her. He'd just simply shake his head and slap the shit out of her
He yearns for your heart.
He needs to stop being a pussy about it.
Last night you made me help you pick the raisins out of a kashi bar and acted like it was the most important thing to ever happen to you or our friendship
I spent three hours in the ER last night to figure out that my friend just had to take a shit
A stripper choked me last night. Then I choked her. Now we're going on a date this Saturday.
couldn't remember his name. introduced him as 'mr multiple orgasms'
Randomize
