and trust me i need no booty pop lessons
can we take a shower together?
no need for the romantic shit. I'm a sure thing
On a list of weird places to get a bj, how weird is in the basement of a pharmacy
I'm going to listen to christmas music to trick my body into cooling off.
To be honest I don't know what's worse, the fact that I interupted their shower sex or the fact that I was so drunk I used the adjoining stall anyway
I'm too hungover to be in a fucking cow suit right now
well the hot one passed out so thats that, but then the fat one made chicken nuggets....totally worth it
Ended the weekend putting away 30 nuggets. Training for 100.
And then he told me he just wanted me to hold his cock while we watched tv...
Sailor Jerry came over for the evening. It was a magical evening. I didn't even get puke in the house.
Remember the time you cried about coconuts
It began the way the best stories do—with some naïve jackasses in a place they had no business being at.
Are we DOING anything for lunch...if sex is involved, let's just be straight forward and stop wasting the first half hour! We just need to get to the point
THIS IS WHAT CELL PHONES ARE FOR! So you can tell me that you're bringing your coworker who lives in the "Halleleuia community" home for a beer SO I'M NOT DRESSED IN LEATHER LINGERIE WHEN HE WALKS IN THE FUCKING DOOR!!
Why are there condoms taped to the handle of Tito’s?
I get horny when I drink, pregnant when I fuck and I never lose the booze unlike my purse
Randomize
