she left her pants. im pretty sure she grabbed mine on accident. im like 9 man sizes bigger than her. wtf
her nipple to breast ratio was just odd
After 9 shots a girl with a mustache......still not attractive
At least the cops kept you away from sleeping with her. Protect and Serve.
Road construction signs are deceptively heavy
Please tell me why your entire hallway smells like microwaved condoms.
It's pitch dark except for the glow sticks, someone turned the heat up as high as it would go and the bathroom is flooded. Also think I just stepped on someone's face.
He asked for a foot job. Whatever. I guess I'm swimming in new slut waters tonight.
I started blowing him in North Dakota, and I finished the job in Minnesota. Oh, the places road head can take you.
I mean it's like...I'm sorry I slept with your boyfriend but is it my fault that he failed to mention you when I was giving him head in the Dave and Busters bathroom?
There is so much wrong with that sentence
Yeah there really shouldn't be a bar at D&B's...shit gets real
well my grandpa saw your dick pic, so why don't you tell me how my day is going
How are you feeling?
I mean, shattered dignity aside, not bad.
My sack is cleanly shaven and the rest of my body has been manscaped. i even put aftershave on my junk. i feel sleek like a fighter jet right now.
So my balls are accidently making an appearance on snapchat
The economy cant be that bad, I willingly got fired to bang her again.
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