Who has a video camera? i want to look back on this one day and say OH thats why i spent 2 years in jail
That's the first time you've ever said the L word without referring to drinking or partying.
Thanks for getting me home last night.
No worries. I'll always be there for you, just like Mufasa.
I wonder if that one guy remembers you sticking salami to his forehead when he was passed out on new years eve.
I fed him jelly beans while he fingered me. Win, win situation.
you were trying to control your nosebleed while having someone hold your four loko while you drank it through a straw. all at the same time. that is commitment.
My goal is to upperdeck the house I'm at, because it's some girl I don't know's birthday. Welcome to adulthood, bitch.
they still hired me even though my background check came back with a warrent for my arrest.
I ate 12 cupcakes in less than 24 hours, so no judgement here.
Less than a month to go... I do not understand how I was able to put up with a roommate who wears bright green Crocs for a year.
Actually here it's more "lie around naked in a dark room" weather.
I think one of my ovaries is committing suicide. But that is a topic for another day.
As a gentleman whose genital hole is relatively small, you could imagine my reaction
The taste of regret at 8am, yup that taste is Jack Daniel's
Ah Christ I think I've reached the single life mentality 100%. I just inquired a photographer about a photo shoot with my dog.
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