The only thing I want to hear out of a girl's mouth tonight is, "slurp".
How do you get a cum stain out of a trampoline?
my grandma just told me that size does matter, and don't let anyone tell you anything different.
I feel like she's the kind of girl who always ends up with guys who have oddly shaped dicks..
her sex was completely horrible but her weed was great. imma ask her out again
I don't know, but I don't want you to think its ok to show up at my house at 4 am with a gorilla suit and a bucket of pinnapple and think id be ok with it
I never thought I'd say this, but there is a life threatening amount of rumpleminz in our freezer
he was holding his dick in one hand and my boob in the other and i looked down and thought, this is my life
I definitely did a line of something I don't know with a Pagan biker. I make good decisions.
Also we saw a clown getting arrested. Rochester is weird.
Paying for my weed with Mike's hard lemonade freezables. The perks of having a gay dealer
Is it counter productive to ride on my exercise bike with a cocktail in hand?
He dislocated his shoulder trying to finger me last night if that tells you anything
I've been sober for almost two weeks and it's been the worst two weeks ever. Even my mom told me I need to start drinking again.
Eh, my puke tasted like lemonade, so not too bad
Randomize
