If you're going to watch porn, can you atleast be considerate and watch it on my old laptop and not the new one?
you think she would figure it out that ever dude that fucks her is just doing it bc they are in a contest to bang the fattest girl
Just so everyone's clear, it was already on fire when I got there.
In the memo line of the check she wrote sexual healing.
If a video of someone that looks like me banging that chick on the hood of her car in some parking lot suddenly shows up on the web... let me know, I gotta see how that turned out.
I feel like this is going to result in some sort of tearing in my vagina.
Thats a chance were just gonna have to take
Dude, you're only mentioning the Bro Code so I can't get any
Crying while listening to Miley Cyrus. BE GLAD YOU JUMPED THIS SINKING SHIP!
i know it looks like there's pee in the mayo jar in the fridge but i promise it's just apple juice that wouldn't fit in the jug after i added the booze.
I can check masterbating in China off the bucket list.
Come on, will you just fuck him so we can watch Star Wars.
Guess who's now on the no-fly list? If you guessed me, you'd be right.
I learned three things this morning. Don't get out of my car without my keys, don't let a girl paint my nail unless I'm getting laid by said girl, and lastly I learned how to break into my own car.
I don't actually like you. I just want to hook up with you.
I'm fine with that
Btw you guys passed out eating DP dough and watching Pocahontas... on a monday
it was stoner heaven..
Randomize
