if i wake u up at 5am tmrw by coming into ur room wearing nothing but my indiana jones hat and purple socks while singing 'courtesy of the red white + blue' will u be pleased or annoyed
keep in mind this isn't open to negotiation, i'm just trying to gauge ur reaction
Bts the comment you were making during that picture was "look we have penises"
I'm pretty sure there is a country song about this exact situation
Cops showed up at 4 am to address a noise complaint and she called them pussies for not doing shots with us.
He made me pinky-promise that he gave me an orgasm.
i'm at the point now where i want him to say anything. even an apology for his boomerang-shaped penis would be nicer than no comment.
dude literally just took me 4 trips to take out the recycling from last night. we need to have parties like this more often
have the fact that the early bird is danced upon by the prettiest strippers be your motivation
I AM TEN TEQUIA SHOOTS ON AND I JUST SAW SOMEONE DO A BODY SHOT OFFF OF JESUS
THIS FEELS SO WROG AND OH SO RIGHT
Who spent today in nothing but a vajazzle and candy thong? SORRY NOT SORRY
I'm literally taking a shit naked holding a bottle of wine.
You popped the Plan B pill then clapped twice, said "mischief managed" and headed tward the bar.
HOW AM I SUPPOSED TO BE A DRUNK WHEN ALL MY ENABLERS ARE BUSY?!
Wtf is this place? I don't see any alcohol and I feel like we were supposed to bring our own strippers.
What was the name of that sleazy asshole I'm not allowed to sleep with?
Randomize
