we are all sexual creatures
yea maybe. but you're not. you're not getting any.
Hey. Did u tell any1 that I use Nuvaring?
Cuz 1 of ur bf's frat bros just asked me if I wanted to "play ring toss later"
I have seen more male genitalia at this party tonight than I ever want to see again in my entire life.
My professors need to stop cancelling class. Bad things happen when I have too much free time on my hands. Bad things.
He came over while I was in the ER and hung pictures of himself around my house.
Watching porn with a bag of marshmallows. Thats when you know you're stoned.
She just opened a six pack of corona with her car door ... I had no idea she was such a skilled drunk
She gets me. First thing she said this morning "I'll buy breakfast if you can tell me my name."
We found you facedown on his couch in a pile of cheerios, with only one shoe on. Dude you said you were staying in last night.
I've just never heard the term serendipitous used to describe having one's asshole licked.
Just saw our highschool guidance counselor at the bar and he's taken six shots in the last hour. Those teenagers have fucking hardened him.
A guy just grabbed my balls before he shook my hand because he thought he knew me.
I just masterbated to the home shopping channel...what have I become...
I've now fucked in every motel room in this small town.
How many more times can I say I need to get laid before you kill me?
Randomize
