and parents always said I was only motivated by money. Pfft they forgot vodka.
how am i supposed to spank it to a shakira video when she looks like she is doing the robot?
she just made me lysol my hands in order to touch her tits.
You really need to tell him that he has a girlfriend. I'm not sure he knows
When the cops came you just told them you'd go to your time out corner.
This is a whole other level of drinking. Like the I used to eat paste with these people kinda drinking.
Did Kevin really put his bar tab under the name Hercules last night?
That is NOT what pussyfooting around means. Try that again with your toe and I break it off.
We just won 1800 at the casino and are going to the strip club. Who gives a fuck if it's 5pm
I'm just a little concerned for your well being... and your penis too I suppose.
Mom kept me on a leash as a kid, did you know this?
When she went in the beer store I got to hold it.
he's so hot I'd consider breaking the whole, "till death do us part," agreement he's currently in
went to class still drunk this morning and my professor made the class give me a round of applause and said, "see people, THIS is inspirational... if she can make it to class in this condition there is no excuse not to show up!"
You should've seen the look on the guys face when I demanded pho and a beer the second they opened. Obviously he doesn't understand hangovers
you were shouting "me peeing on him is the closest he'll EVER get to my vagina!"
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