just wrote on a church. and then stalked a boy, by the way, i fucked him. him being your friend, also, love tacos.
well that was a long night...
dude, you were pretty messed up... what happened?
no idea... but i still woke up with my pirate hat on
dude, mark had the least successful cab ride in history last night. took a cab to the bars, stopped at every atm in the city, none worked, then had to come back to the party to beg for 20 to pay the taxi that officially took him nowhere.
If burritos were dicks, we'd have a serious relationship problem on our hands. Just saying.
My 54 year old father just sent me a YouTube link on my school email titled "Walrus sucks his own dick" and then wrote in the email "I wish I were a walrus". What the fuck is wrong with my family?
they just tried to tell me they weren't big into drugs. A) it was the 70's. B) I've seen the pictures.
Does my status still say I suck cocks? I don't know how to change it
Alright this has to stop. Without adderall I don't even have the motivation to get laid. College has ruined me.
I woke up in your car in the McDonalds parking lot. What the hell happened to 'no man left behind'?
So you think it's my fault? I didn't give you the 10 shots you took nor make you eat the brownies we made... btw, i found your engagement ring, it was in the last brownie you wouldn't let me have while dragging me to my room.
I think this agreement was sent by God. I get to do my own thing, get laid, and he still makes me breakfast in the morning.
I'm the Oprah of jello shots
I went home with him again and he LEFT HIS OWN HOUSE at 2 in the morning while I was IN THE BATHROOM.
I got my period on eclipse day. I'm officially in line with the moon.
I sent him nudes while he is at work because I am an evil human being.
Randomize