i seriously hope you fucking die....you are the worst.
SHit! Sorry, sent to wrong person
I just did your MASH and your life is pretty unfortunate. Youre marrying the tech guy for love. you live in a shack and you're a hooker and you make $1 a day. you drive a brown limo and you have 7 kids
I wish there was an iPhone app to help you with your shitty personality.
you know whats awesome about this morning. A suprise visit from my dad at 7:30 am. There was a pair of heels on the lawn and a girl sleeping in just her underwear on the floor of my living room. He either thinks im a champion or a total fuck up. I'm thinking fuck up but im hoping champion.
The football player sitting in front of me just googled himself. Only 4 articles came up. That's why he plays at Utah State.
through my window right now you can see the hot chick next door is standing BUTT ASS NAKED eating peanut butter off a knife.
ill be there in 5.
I'm graduating. Then you'll never see me again.
We better fuck soon then
If my bosses could see, smell or hear me right now they would understand why its a horrible idea to keep the office open sundays
I've never seen so many strippers at a funeral...
My grandpa just complimented my boobs. Im taking this as a compliment but also brushing it off as alcoholism on his part.
The drugs are starting to wear off. Suddenly aware there's a girl with bald patches and 2 guys that don't have a full set of teeth between them.
I'm so fucking horny right now If I blink I might cum
We are no longer allowed to have pre 4th party week. I woke up with a donut stuck to my face and 'MILF' written in black marker on my stomach.
Mother of the Year
Tequila Tuesday.. tonight is the night I defeat the liquor.
I have class at 8:30 and I am not bailing you out of the drunk tank again.
Sorry you saw my balls. Pregame includes a lot of shaving.
Randomize
