great time with ya sorry i wasn't one of the three guys you wanted to stay with
and technically it was a rebound
so lol
and then you got rebounded for the same girl he rebounded you for and still never scored ... it was like watching an LA Clippers game
Flying to Orlando on the 7th is cheaper than the 8th by like three margaritas.
I kinda wish he had even a slight idea of the sex I'm planning for his departure. I'm literally studying for it.
I figured, if I'm going to wear a gold cape its pretty safe to assume I'll be blacking out as well.
So was it you or me who decided it was a good idea to inscribe fuck you on the counter?
That was me. Just a 'welcome to our home' kinda thing.
is it bad that my walk of shame involves the church shuttle?
So the name of the kid from the sponsor a child comercial popped into my head while I was masturbating this morning. Needless to say I will now be now be donating out of guilt.
The guy who bit me so hard two nights ago that I had to put Neosporin on my nipple and the guy in my bed right now are two different people. Help
I have feelings that need drinking.
How early is too early for a booty call on a Monday night?
SKIIIIIIIIIIII, trip mo foes! Let-ith the epic- ness begin ith. Heroes go forth, nAy Sayers fuckin die. This is for the good of mankind! See you on the morrow
Apologies to the number who did not expect to get this but certainly be jealous of us.
I guess the lesson here is that I shouldn't send nudes to elected officials.
its like my accent is a device for a 100% chance of sex every time i leave the apartment. i love being english in this country.
Call me a snob but I'm not banging chicks with more fingers than teeth.
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