some girl had on jean underwear. i hate america.
I just ran into the couch, vagina first.
I hope you got dinner out of it
All I can tell you is you will need a rain slicker for tonight's festivities. Any clothes underneath would be highly frowned upon as well.
the general consensus of people in the room is that i should have another bottle of wine.
"people in the room" being me.
Thats the worst face I've ever seen you make an I've seen you throw up in your own hair.
Haha, you avoided her at all costs. And then she shoved her tits in your face
Do you know what your brother wants for his birthday?
Yeah he said he wants a decent blowjob for a change.
.......
I'm just looking out for you.
I just want school to he over so we can build a big tent, do drugs inside it, and watch cartoons until the sun comes up.
That's all I've ever wanted.
You sent me snap chats of you guys having sex. Like plural. It was like flip book porn, I'm traumatized.
A girl told me I was her "alcohol spirit animal" tonight. Somehow I think my whole life was secretly building up to this moment
I don't know but this 12 year old kid is soaking up all of our bad morals like a super tampon on the second day of my period
So I'm getting really old. I feel asleep for a booty call that I initiated. The struggle is real.
Shia LaBeouf arrested in austin for public intoxication. JUST DO IT
Does your drug dealer have a printer I can use??
It involves me, my best friend, and a stripper and her mother.
Randomize
