mutual masturbation is only cool if cash money records is involved.
sorry i'm running a bit late. had to shave my brittney...was looking more like rapunzel. clearly i've been having a drought.
i've counted 4 condom wrappers but only 3 condoms. not again.
i just masturbated with purell and my dick burns and smells like a hospital
he let me duct tape his mouth because i said it was my fetish, i really just wanted him to shut up
Just come back with most of your limbs...and your dick. Please and thank you
I just want to know who nailed the chicken nugget to the door.
It's hard to take you serious when you're crying your eyes out wearing an adult sized onesie.
HOW ARE YOU ALWAYS DRUNK? AND WHERE ARE TOU TRYING TO GO??
Cute underage boy is in my house.
OH MY GOD. DON'T DO ANYTHING. WHY IS HE IN YOUR HOUSE.
Get here, there are important joints to be smoked and pies to be eaten
In Punta Cana for my bachelor trip, hopefully tomorrow my passport is blacklisted
So by "wait for me" do you think he meant "Don't have sex with random dentists?"
Conference sex doesn't count if the dentist doesn't know your name.
all i remember is slapping you in the face with a slice of pizza while laughing maniacally.
Yea and there’s destruction when we’re together, mostly of our livers but W/e
Randomize
