when she started arguing that Girl Talk was in fact a DJ, i knew i could never sleep with her
I think a homeless person took a bath in my mouth while I was sleeping :(
so tomorrow. i'm thinking coinstar then adderall?
i love how you can even make your typing come across bitchy
you kept slapshing your drinks on people saying the power of christ compels you.
Saw the college gyno today. It has now been medically confirmed that I have a perfect vagina.
OMG the post office opened my dildo! "we sincerely regret the damage to your package"
So I've gone into the break room to heat up a styrofoam cup 8 times over the course of 4 hours.. that desperate to see him. Now I have a broken heart AND cancer.
I had to photo shop your nipple piercings. that was extremely awkward.
The girl in the hotel room next to us walked out at the same time as me this morning. She just shook her head, looked at me and said, "faker." Is it that easy to tell?!??
So what's going on?
We hit boys town to get stupid. I mean invading Iraq stupid.
Just read 119 best sex positions. I wanna try 107 of them. Can I put you down for 50?
Apparently I'm a "fire hazard"
"I played a game called "how drunk can you get in a minute" last night. How was your Thursday?"
I haven't felt more like a college student than when I woke up this morning naked with my sociology textbook in front of me and my bong in my left hand.
Randomize
