I totes stole your whore crown.
With great power comes great responsibility.
We have sex, then he cooks. It's like a fantasy.
Let's review the facts-we're bored, we have a ton of beer, and we live 5 minutes from the zoo. This equation is easily solvable
I'm getting very mixed reviews. One friend told me to stop drinking bc the last 3 times he's heard from me I've either peed my pants, been throwing up, or people have been having sex beside me.
Strangely enough I'm encouraging you to keep drinking for all the same reasons.
I peed glitter this morning and had a beard drawn on my face with eyeliner. Last time I do shots with gay Dan.
Getting cock-blocked by Jeff Bridges. NOT OKAY.
sick fucks of a feather flock together
I have no idea. There are 6 asians singing hey soul sister to me right now.
this whole "benign brain tumor" is truly a blessing in disguise. I almost want to start bringing MRIs to the bar because sympathy pussy is flowing like the nile
Is it bad that I'm using the photo I took for my fake ID as my linkedin profile pic?
You keep making the old jokes & I'm gonna come down with a sudden case of low-estrogen related vaginal dryness..
But of course I'm in. After all, what fun would the holidays be without trying to find the perfect gift to impress someone you've never met, but need the approval of??
After my shift today I'm going on a bender. Not saying this so you'll stop me, just a heads up to invest in Tylenol, Gatorade, and Jack
like, there should be nothing wrong with me wanting to watch you put on a bikini and roll around in a kiddie pool of jello
The cl.oudds are foaming a really big pen.Is OMG.
Randomize
