it was nice. we just kind of hung out. she didnt even mention the farting incident.
sooo i think when i get back from rothbury i should probably take a pregnancy test
but you would be showing by now. i'd just save the money and wait for a large crap in 6 months that starts crying. then you'll know.
There is a distinct lack of front teeth here.
He made me stop in the middle of giving him a blowjob so he could go get his glasses. because he "wanted to see". I need to stop dating nerds.
You just kept saying "I want my babies to look like you."
He insisted he brought his alarm clock everywhere, and then the girl screamed "fuck French people!"
there is vomit in the pocket of my dress coat. i remember thinking "this is a weird place to puke" at some point in the evening, but i dont understand how i did this.
I'm beginning to think the entirety of my appeal is due to the size of my ass.
That is romantic
Well sometimes you just gotta put your dicks and pizzas together to show you care
looked up people from my old yearbooks. 3 ex boyfriends are gay. im getting drunk now.
Your choices in alcohol this weekend are thoroughly disappointing
How do I convince my friend not to get tattoo tributes to her cats?
WHO DOES THAT
I told her it'd send up tons of red flags and she responded by telling me they're her babies. And she's sober.
I guess it's part of life. Sometimes your ex boyfriend becomes a drag queen.
so I just realized.. of my 70k student loan debt, most of it went toward bar tabs, eightballs, and sweet-ass ties to wear to gamedays and other people's weddings. I think about shit like this while I'm at my mid-level management position. you know. "working."
Look upon your future, America, and despair.
I can't be held responsible for what I do for you after a blowjob like that.
Randomize
